Dear Daughter,

 

I loved you from the moment I saw you. 

Daughter, you're special!

Dear Daughter, dated 27 June 2026

Link: https://youtu.be/kA-obJ8Q4wc?si=S95mXnYHOw01C6f8

A few years back, my cousin brother had shared this video recording, a rendering by a father to his daughter. 

This is Subramanya Bharathiyar's work ....

Bharathiyar writes in his poem, "என்னைக்  கலிதீர்த்தே உலகில் , ஏற்றம் புரிய வந்தாய்'. 

Fatherhood, is certainly a huge evolution in the consciousness from manhood. How is being the father of a boy different from being a father of a girl. 

In the dynamic between me and my own father, on father's day I found myself reflecting on our own jouney. 

My dad is the perfect archetype of moon and venus qualities and with impecable mercurial faculties, and a high unhealthy ego....

Now, my dad was extremely caring, extremely loving, extremely vocal to his family of how he loved us, but with his ego, I often felt unheard....

Overtime our relationship has gone through a catharatic transformation and a metamorphsis, that I am perfectly glad to have been part of and am still am...

A woman's relationship with her dad, almost shapes what she looks for in a partner, and there is much shadow work if one seeks to bring the most authentic beautiful version of themselves to a relationship while, being aware of the flaws in the relationship....

When I hear this version, of Bharathiyar;s poem sung by that gentleman, towards the end he is really overwhelmed by the depth of the awakening in love his daughter brings in him....

I always cherish this recording. 

I can only, imagine, a fictional husband of mine, singing this to my daughter I seek to manifest, with me in wonder, with tears in my eyes, seeing this bond....

in sankrit, an ideal father, is called, Shreshtah Janakah, श्रेष्ठःजनकः , why Janaka why not, Dasharatha... 

Janaka was the Father who adopted Sita, when he found her as he ploughed the field with faith. Sita, is regarded and revered as the daughter of Mother Earth, an incarnation of Maha Lakshmi.

Why qualities is Janaka endowed with, to deserve Maha Lakshmi as his daughter?

Janaka –is referred to in the contexts of, his commitment and quest towards soul consciousness studies, under the Sage Ashta-vakra.

Father’s day, in 2026,  falls in the — sign of Poorvaphalguni and Uttaraphalguni. The asterism of Uttaraphalguni is associated with a story of Janaka. Janaka was once asked by his Guru, to go around his palace or his kingdom, with a lamp in his hand, while he pays attention to the matters of the kingdom he has the equal responsibility to ensure that the fire is not extinguished and it remains lit throughout. The sign of Uttara — is perhaps associated with this steadfastness, a commitment to marriage and unflickering, unwavering sense of duty being un-attached.

What does this story convey? To my knowledge it conveys, doing your duty but with a balance, with a sense of equanimity and poise in your heart to not let the fire within be extinguished.

Hard….but possible…..

Another, dynamic we constanty read in Sanskrit literature is Kanva maharishi, who  is the foster father of Shakuntala. 

It is said, Kanva maharishi went on a tirtha yatra, learning of the difficutlty that his daughter may face.... In the kavya, 4 veses by Kanva maharishi are regarded as of prime importance. 

coming back, why does, Bhrathiyar say, 'என்னைக்  கலிதீர்த்தே உலகில் 

ஏற்றம் புரிய வந்தாய்!'

He ends saying, 'உன் கண்ணில் நீர்வழிந்தால்- என்நெஞ்சில் 

 உத்திரங்  கொட்டுதடி; 
என் கண்ணில்  பாவையன்றோ? கண்ணம்மா 
என்னுயிர்  நின்னதன்றோ! '

More reflections in another post....

Obeisances, to all those who have been father figures in my life......& those who still are a quiet guiding light..... 

Lyrics:

சின்னஞ்சிறுகிளியே, கண்ணம்மா 
செல்வக் களஞ்சியமே! (சின்னஞ்சிறு)
என்னைக்  கலிதீர்த்தே உலகில் 
ஏற்றம் புரிய வந்தாய்! (சின்னஞ்சிறு) 

பிள்ளைக்கனியமுதே, -கண்ணம்மா!
பேசும் பொற்சித்திரமே! 
அள்ளியணைத்திடவே-என்முன்னே    
ஆடிவருந்  தேனே (சின்னஞ்சிறு)

ஓடி வருகையிலே- கண்ணம்மா!  
உள்ளம் குளிருதடீ; 
ஆடித்திரிதல்  கண்டால் உன்னைப்போய் 
ஆவி தவிழுதடி 

உச்சிதனை முகந்தால்  - கருவம் 
ஓங்கி வளருதடி 
மெச்சி யுனை யூரார்- புகழ்ந்தால் 
மேனி சிலிர்க்குதடீ.

கன்னத்தில் முத்தமிட்டால்-உள்ளந்தான் 

 கள்வெறி கொள்ளுதடீ 
உன்னை தழுவிடிலோ- கண்ணம்மா
 உன்மத்த மாகுதடீ. 

உன் கண்ணில் நீர்வழிந்தால்- என்நெஞ்சில் 
 உத்திரங்  கொட்டுதடி; 
என் கண்ணில்  பாவையன்றோ? கண்ணம்மா 
என்னுயிர்  நின்னதன்றோ! 
என் உயிர் நின்னதன்றோ! 
என் உயிர் நின்னதன்றோ!

Tears behind Strength......

 This was the cover of Culturama Magazine 2018 issue, which i kept with me....

It was apparently a painting of Rani Lakshmi Bhai, Jhansi Rani

The grief ......behind that strength and poise....

Poise and Stregth, yet with grief.......

Love in My Lens ..... Romantic Love Vs Maternal Love (Part 2)

Another film that comes to my mind is, 

'Wild Praire Rose' 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEpNHxM1_G4&t=2936s

this Film had subtle ethereal romantic sequences, that touched me very deeply. 

What I truly resonated with, is the bond she shared with her mother, there was also this silence and divine presence of the hero. 

Inspired by it I even made a small sequence, with carnatic music in Raga Bahudari.

Bahudari is a raga played by my mother in the evenings.. 

This song used to feel very soulful when my mother played it in the evenings. 

Love in my lens....Romantic Love Vs Maternal Love

 Ive always had this yearning in my mind, 'can romantic love ever be equal to what we receive from a mother'......

Can it really be that divine......

This question came to me in my early 20s, when I had brief relationship, everytime my mind would cirlce back to this question.....

which led me to some reflection in my upbringing and what I authentically desire to give and seek in a relationship.....

It is then, I reflected back on this scene from a 90s tamil film. 

Interestingly in India, with the number of linguisics, how each region portrays romantic love can never be the same. there would always be some vivid soulfully beautiful imagery, that you would have missed or taken for granted....

& then when you see a Polish film, you notice, how deep emotions have been so seamlessly communicated to reach audiences.....

There this scene, where the hero, conflicted, over his feelings for his beloved, is informed that, she hasnt arrived home, after being invited to dinner along with her mother, at an art patrnonizer's home. Unfortunately, the art patron, doesnt harbor, good intent and attempts to molest her. At this juncture, we have the hero,  intervening and in turn, pulicly makes the patron repent for his actions.

This is a plot, which is almost common across all genres, from time immemorial. 

Probably, this theme, is taken from Krishna Rukmini vivaah. 

Yet, what stunned me was a sequence where this bond between the hero and his beloved is approved with a subtle nod from the mother. 

And there is a song that follows with the lyrics.

எந்தன் தாயின்

கர்ப்பம் தாண்டி

மறுமுறை உயிர்க்கொண்டேன்

உன்னால் இருமுறை உயிர்க்கொண்டேன் 

It's almost impossible to translate this with authenticity. 

But, in simple words, the selfless act of protecting her modesty without any thing in return, is a new birth... after the birth from a woman's (mother's ) womb....

You (her lover) - the girl says, you birthed a new woman.......

This is beautiful sequence when her mother, approves of her love...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KzmBYIFIyM

I think the rainbow, is probably providential when directing this scene...

Here is the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KEz0tAPNcc

Love in Her EYes - A blip from the past (2016)

This is a personal post, on my experiences when I volunteered at the Special Education center in my school, back in 2016. 

I had the opportunity to work in the speech therapy class.

The opportunity was a calling that came, after I got the opportunity to attend the 'Workshop on Inclusive Education', which I could attend as I was to deliver a book to my brother, who I think was in, Class 8. 

I met 2 interesting girls. One SARA and the other girl was CHERYL. 

Both interestingly different personalities. 

Both SARA and CHERYL couldnt speak. But BOTH HAD A LOT TO SAY WITH THEIR EYES. 

SARA Was INDEPENDENT

she did her tasks on her own, 

she didnt need a friend

if she had one, one felt a calming presence

and she was sober. 

In contrast

Cheryl was very DEPENDENT

she always needed her mate as she did tasks

She was sort of in her nerves most times

and a sort of fluttering presence....

While I worked with these girls, a lot was going on in  my life. 

I pondered as to the stark polarities these girls presented to me. 

A whole world of lessons opened up.

My little girl always when I'm old - 7th July 2023

To loving, so giving, 

a heart of gold, 

always my little girl, 

even when I'm old.