Hope

 

 

Tarot Reading - Date 20 October 2026

 Feeling damn low....

Tried a tarot reading 

 - Nine of Pentacles

- Heirophant 

- 4 of Swords

Your cards

1. Nine of Pentacles — Upright

This card represents independence, self-sufficiency, personal comfort, and knowing one's worth.

2. The Hierophant — Upright

This card represents tradition, commitment, shared values, and established relationship structures.

In a romantic context, it can point towards feelings being considered within the framework of commitment, respect, or conventional expectations. It can also represent a connection that is more formal, traditional, or guided by principles than openly emotional.

3. Four of Swords — Upright

This card represents rest, withdrawal, silence, and contemplation.

In a feelings reading, it can suggest keeping emotions private, taking a pause, or not actively pursuing a connection right now. It is not a particularly expressive or passionate card.

Male Yearning - Letter by Captain Wentworth

 Captain Wentworth is a naval officer, around 31 years old. He’s handsome, confident, ambitious. He and Anne Elliot fell in love when they were younger and became engaged, but she broke it off. Now he has met her again and despite his best intentions, he’s fallen for her again.. He writes her this letter to tell her how he feels.

~

‘I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.

“I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father’s house this evening or never.’

Persuasion, chapter 23

Over The Horizon -- Chapter 1 – Solitude in the Seas Written By Shyamala Sundaram

 

Over The Horizon

Chapter 1 – Solitude in the Seas

28 August 2026

Miles away from home, in my room aboard the MBS Edelweiss, somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, I stared at the vast expanse of water stretching endlessly before me.

It was a full moon night. Traditionally the moon in August is called Sturgeon Moon. This moon coincides with the Thiruvonam festival, celebrated in Kerala but also coincides with the yearly sacred thread ceremony for Brahmins. The asterism is probably associated with deep intuitive listening.

Sravana – meant listening… listening deep to what I pondered?

Listening to your heart?

It was half past twelve at night.

The ship rolled gently beneath me, and I found myself gazing at the stars through the window. Out here, away from the lights of the cities, the sky seemed impossibly large.

I had three chapatis for dinner.

Three chapatis, the endless ocean, and my thoughts.

I wondered if there could ever be someone for me.

My last girlfriend, Akita, had found it difficult to live with my schedule. Being away for long periods was never easy. Weeks and months at sea had slowly created a distance between us that neither of us knew how to cross.

Eventually, we parted ways.

She was married now.

Sometimes I wondered if this was all my life was going to be.

Did I like being alone?

Yes.

Did I like my solitude?

Yes, I did.

Did I want someone to share my life with?

Yes.

That was the strange part.

I loved my solitude. I loved the sea. I loved the silence that came with being far away from everything familiar.

But somewhere inside me, I still wanted someone.

Someone who would yearn to see me as much as I yearned to see her.

Someone who would understand that leaving was part of my life, but that coming home mattered just as much.

I didn't know if such a person existed.

Maybe that was why I kept looking at the stars.

Maybe I was hoping they would answer.

---

28 August 2026

I usually wake up at half past seven in the morning.

Today, however, I was awake at 5:30.

The first rays of sunlight were beginning to appear on the horizon. I stood quietly and offered my sun salutations as the sky slowly changed colour.

There is something different about watching a sunrise at sea.

There is no building blocking the horizon. No traffic. No noise from a city waking up.

Just the sun, the ocean and me.

For a few minutes, everything felt peaceful.

Then the ship reminded me where I was.

---

29 August 2026

I was woken by the fire alarm today.

For a moment, I had no idea what was happening.

Then the smell of something burning reached me.

One of the large electrical motors had burned out.

It looked like this was going to be a long day.

I estimated that it could take nearly twenty hours of non-stop work to get everything under control. I contacted the port at Rio and asked whether we could proceed as planned.

Meanwhile, we had already arranged food provisions for when we reached the port of Singapore.

Now we also needed a new motor and several other spare parts.

The motor had burned out because we had overused the compressor. The engine piston rings were also worn and approaching the end of their service life.

Technically, there was still about a year—or roughly 5,000 running hours—left before they were due for replacement.

But machinery doesn't always care about schedules.

Sometimes it fails when it wants to.

That night, after everything that had happened, I couldn't sleep.

I lay awake for hours, listening to the sounds of the ship.

The sea outside was dark.

I had spring rolls and orange juice for dinner.

And, once again, I found myself thinking about her.

Whoever she might be.

Wherever she might be.

If she even existed.

Lovely...desires

 

The right person....